Been in some issue which jokes make friend angry, in a chat.

I was so sad for being in such situation again, as what I experienced not long ago.

Previously, I made some jokes on an audi friend who keep looking for girls in audi ( I called it “despo”, short form for desperate). I apologized, and been scolded by him for around an hour non-stop, with his highly proficient English, and extremely good memory which he could remember each n every single word I used in the jokes I made. And yet I failed to obtain his forgiveness though I make no defend through out the whole hour scold, but apology, repeatedly.

Then we are no longer friends.

Another scenario happened today, for the same reason. One of my close audi friend mad on me for some stupid and harmless jokes. ( I believed they are, but don’t know how he interpreted it. Let me know how you think, k?)

“again my apology. if this make no help, thn forget it.. i gv up. y do i care so much abt som1 i din even met?” --- msn message, 13-01-2008, 03:03.

Heartache, the only way that I felt, at that moment.

I have had an unpleasant past, and friends are the people who raised me up through out my childhood, and I’m glad for having them by my sides. Thus, I do cherish each and every friendship in my life, which happened to be my greatest treasure which I appreciated the most. I’m trying very hard not to hurt any of my friends, as I know I’m too frank in speech. I tried not to keep any hate toward my friends, after their betrayal. I did everything, to avoid myself from losing any friend.

Therefore, losing a friend would be my greatest pain to me, especially when I was the one who did the thing, tried my best to rescue the situation, and failed eventually. It’s even worst when I don’t even get the chance to know they no longer needing you as their friend, or the reason they start ignoring you.

*it was just, heartache*

--This is why do I care so much about you, someone I didn’t even met, because you are my friend.--


xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

The below part is dedicated to my beloved audi papa, Alex. To those who read this, please make no judgment on simplicity (when you don’t even know him personally), as this is between. The reason I put it in this post was to also show I feel in the issue. Appreciate you coorperations~~ thank you!



Dear Alex,

I’m neither trying to annoy nor irritating you, but try to let you know why do I so frustrated for “waiting”. Waiting is a scary term for me, as I’ve been in waiting condition for too many times. Waiting for my to bring me home during primary 1, but never appears because she was sick. Waiting for my so called “boyfriend’s” (an ex- now) call, but he never did, ended up with I found out that he got another girl and he was just playing with me). Waiting some promises that never been realized, by any of the promisor.

I’m not sure whether you have been in such situation that you are waiting and you don’t even know what you are waiting for, and it keeps you waiting, forever. It will makes you get into a condition that you felt anxious, frustrated and yet you have to keep waiting as you have no other choice.

Anxiety kills an elephant.

I’ve been in such situation frequently. Remember the day that I met you in audi? I was mad about audi people around me. I pm-ed my papa#1 he say wait, so do all other friends. I thought there will be some replies further on, so I waited, but there’s nothing but the annoying lobby song. They keep me waiting forever, and I became an idiot who do not know what she’s waiting for. Idiot, a funny way I used to call myself, isn’t it?

Talk to me if you can’t get what I’m trying to express, I’ll be happy to share my weird thoughts. ( To everyone who feels the same way too.. ^^)

Lastly, sorry for making you mad and I do care about you. *please remember that I did felt heartache, for you*

I love you, papa~ <33